Can a Sex Addict Actually Be in Love With Their Spouse?
Question by wilfeistykitten2003: can a sex addict actually be in love with their spouse?
I’ve been married for 14 yrs to a sex addict who has cheated on me several times. He says he loves me and can’t control it. What I want to know is can a true sex addict still be love although they have this addiction?
Best answer:
Answer by Forlorn Hope – returned
it is only sex… 😀
none of the other people were attractive emotionally, it was just sex… 😀
Answer by Wisdom?
I’m not sure an addict can love their spouse- in other
Biological sex addition is not only the most common but it is the simplest to heal with a solid behavioral treatment plan. This type usually starts around puberty when the pre-addict begins masturbating to images, fantasies, objects, or people. Upon climax, the highest level of endorphins and enkephalins are released into the body, hitting the excitement center of the brain and creating a “high” that is four times as strong as heroine. Over time, this behavior and whatever is being imagined or viewed at that moment are reinforced, creating neurological pathways in the brain and conditioning the body to become aroused by these stimuli. Unfortunately, the cycle of behavior continues and worsens, hence the addiction.
Those struggling with a Psychological type addiction are most often survivors of some kind of abuse. In fact, 90% are emotionally, 80% sexually, and 70% physically abused. This type of addict is characterized by “a soul in pain” who has chosen sex as a way to “medicate” this pain. Acting-out sexually becomes an escape from the painful reality of daily life. Similarly, Trauma-based addiction lies in the compulsion to repeat the ordeal of the sexual abuse incurred in an attempt to gain control over the injury and recreate or undo the injury through pleasure. Neither the Psychological or Trauma-based addicts are responsible for the neglect and abuse they’ve endured-they are, however, the only one who can take the responsibility for their healing… and, their behavior towards others.
The other addictions I won’t mention, but the realities are, that if this is an addiction, it no weaker or stronger than alcohol, drugs or nicotine… but, also, amenable to good treatment. So, he should seek out help– but he may not until the addiction results in his losing everything and him hitting rock bottom.
Finally, the main concerns here are whether you can live with this, are you protected from disease, and is he flying protected? If you choose remain, seek professional help and maybe also join a support group, for yourself. Also, give him a choice– seek treatment and stop seeing others or you have to leave!
Good luck- this must be the most difficult thing to live thru in a marriage.